Hello Monty, selling your house will mean your mortgage will have be paid off. In that case your mortgage should be ported to another property to avoid penalty. If there is no other property involved and your mortgage will just end up being paid off you could make one of your yearly pre-payment to help reduce your penalty. Most lenders will take into account any unused pre-payment privilege anyways so check with them before you go to your savings or investments to make that pre-payment. I hope this helps, if you would like to discuss anything in detail please do not hesitate to contact me at any time. Abraham Niyazi - Mortgage Agent - Lic#M08010640 - Centum One FInancial Corp - Lic 10758. Cell: 416-993-4082 Toll Free: 1-866-728-3708 x 115 http://www.centum.ca/abraham_niyazi/ I deal with 25 lenders and can do mortgages across Canada except Quebec.

There are two formulas bank use, the 3 month interest payment and IRD (Interest Rate Deferential). If the interest rate on the market is higher then your current mortgage rate then you pay 3 month interest only. If your mortgage rate is higher then the market rate then you will be charged using IRD formula which is higher. This way the banks protect themselves from loosing a client to a lower rate.

If you sell your home before your term is done you have the following two options. The first option is to transfer or port your mortgage to your next purchase. There is basically no fee for porting your mortgage. However if you are not porting your mortgage then you need to break your mortgage. Option two, breaking or canceling you mortgage could be very costly as there is a penalty to pay in order to cancel the mortgage.

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Oh man! so many questions! my dad is getting older, ever since he and my mon split back in 04, he has not been well, he looks tired and physically appears to have aged 10 years in only 4! he's a born and raised honest blue collar hard worker. (one of 7 kids irish/itallian family) he works very hard, basically running himself into the ground. years of this show in his eyes and sun beaten wrinkly face. his naturally thin build just seems thinner & thinner all the time. :o( he has been in the autobody business for all of my life. he's a vietnam airforce vet who fixed jet engines the whole time during his term. he brought back with him this trade but instead worked on cars (and eventually started specializing in autobody) anyways, i'd say these past 5 years, things have gotten pretty bad for him. he went from living in a nice house with me and my mom, and had a corvette (his prized possesion that had talked about getting since i was little), a huge yard, massive gardens that my parents built up themselves over years..... to nothing. the broke lifestyle does not bother me (im a poor college kid in school on loans, and my little part time job my a some extra help from my mom get me by to pay for the little exspenses i need, but im fine and definately get by, im happy and i have fun and have no complaints about the $$ situation as life has taught me those things are meaningless w/o love, health, family and friendship) anyways my ma is definately more materialistic and cheap then me and my dad, but is still a good person who would do anything for the people she loves. shes an acountant, (maybe that has something to do with it haha) and has benefits for her and i as long as i am in school. she doesnt have, need, or want any financial support from my dad. and didnt take any $$ from him when they split, but during the divorce, they were trying to sell the house, which just happened to be in the middle of housing crisis and that was a mess! and to top it off, my dads business was on a downward spiral (that i dont know the details on) but anyways fast forward 4 years to right now- my poor dad now lives with sister with driving barely running 89 mazda. the shame he feels from all this breaks my heart! i love my dad regardless and i could careless about all this other crap, i know my aunt doesnt mind helping him for as long as he needs (he has been living there for about a year now) but i know he feels like a burden to her and constantly seems so stressed and embarassed and definately depressed. of coarse he's got to much pride to go see a doctor for anything let alone antidepressants plus it doesnt help trying to convince him to go to a doctor when he has hasn't had health insurance in years! hes a smoker and a drinker (and it seems more often these days :o( hes getting paid under the table restoring cars for a enheirrantly wealthy (and very lazy and apparently manipulative) man who in my and my family's opinion definately does not pay him even close to enough $$ for the amazing work hes been doing. i am 21yrs old, in community college living in an apartment with my mom. i'm planning to transfer to a 4 year school in philadelphia to start working toward my bachlors of music next year. ill be getting a place with my boyfriend and sort of moving on for the time being. anyways my dad is on my mind a lot. im worried, i know he had paid taxes and what not in eariler years. but for a while now he has been doing freelance work and not paying taxes (my mom is an accountant and used to handle all that stuff for him) i was thinking about when he can't work anymore will get he social securty still? i dont know what kind of trouble that housing thing got my parents into and prolems with my dads old business (its not my place so i never really asked too far into it) i know for sure he doesn't have any money saved up for retirement (even though hes almost 60), i would help him but i still have to get through quite a few years of school to get a sucessful well paid job in my careerfield (ultimately i want to have a dr. in musicial composition and teach at a university and also have a masters in musical performance. big goals but i just want to make sure i can take care of my family when i am older as they have taken care of me. i am an only child and my parents are older. i'm worried and seeking advice about social security and all that for them. also health insurance for my dad. if anyone has any advice is would be highly appreciated and followed. thank you so much lauren

There are counseling centers for seniors, and check on web for Social Security benefits (medical is a bummer), so is the VA, they are giving less & less service & still have to pay a lot of out of pocket expenses. Nothing is free anymore. Are there any senior centers he can go to during the day? Are there any VA groups he can join or clubs where they can share their stories, volunteer to barter for services too can do wonders. Depression comes and goes, and drugs just mask the problems. He needs to feel alive again. There is no amount of money that can replace friends, friends and the community. Being alone after all these years, whether it was bad or not before, the loneliness is horrible--like where did the time go? How far is the VA hospital? Do they have a bus he can take? Check on what your community has to help him too. Social Security has so many deductibles no one can afford even a bill for an ER anymore. So, saving will not help at all. Some centers have groups that help younger workers learn a trade & they get paid for it, so with your dad's knowledge and skill, perhaps you can find out if they have such programs near you. Also, check with your religious community, they might have groups & also people that can help you make a plan to help your dad without him feeling he no longer has control--which seems not such a big deal until you can't make ends meet on your own & have to be on the other end of the bread line. Good luck.

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years on october 26th... i have never ever cheated, i never go and do anything he wouldn't want me to do or that would hurt our relationship... and that is the problem. in the beginning when we were younger he was very posessive and controlling although he doesn't think he was... he was. & i let it happen and in retaliation i would get mad at him about things that would never normally make me mad... just because he did it to me. so our relationship was obsessive and unhealthy. i stayed up many nights crying because of his jealousy over my friends. not to mention i had strict parents so i had never even road in a car with him or been over his house until i turned 18. now that i am 21 and he is 22 it is getting down to the wire and after 5 years something needs to change. i still live with my parents and go to college he lives at home aswell to save money and works as a roofer. our relationship is still somewhat unhealthy because he can still sometimes get jealous of my friends he makes remarks like "you seem so happy around them" but i tell him its because i barely see them. he doesn't really want me to drive and although he says he will help me learn to drive i think he likes the fact that i have to depend on him for rides. he doesn't bring me around his friends and i think he trash talks me the whole time he is with them. his love and attention comes and goes in phases all of last year he never even asked me what i did during the day at school... he couldn't even name what classes i was in. now this year since i have been sticking up for myself he is acting like he is head over heels for me again. we have been fighting a lot and i tould him i am frustrated and unhappy. he broke up with me twice but took it back and said it in ways like he didn't mean it. i am not sure what i want. i care about him and i don't wanna hurt his feelngs but i also kinda feel like its doomed for failure. we do not share a single friend... i think he thinks all my friends are sluts because some of the are single. he is very unforgiving when i make mistakes but honestly i haven't ever done anything that bad. he has gone behind my back n talked to girls and when we were 16 and 17 he sold pot... i painted him as an evil guy but he does a lot of good too... i just wanna point out the bad lol what do you think?

he sounds like he has self esteem issues that come out as mistrust. he is more concerned that he is happy than that you are (with your friends). I think you need to move on, but i'm not there to observe the two of you.

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We have two adult children (22) daughter and (24) son. our marriage has been miserable at least for the last 14 years. about 6 years ago i started going to marriage counseling and got wife to come after a couple weeks but she refused to accept any reponsibility or want to change any of her actions so stopped going. i went for about another month and a half hoping she would come again and work on our issues. but it never happened so i stopped as well. did make the changes that were suggested but without her doing the same it was very one sided. continued to stay up tell now for my daughter tell she completed college. my son and wife have not been on speaking terms since his marriage when he was 21 and was strained before that. he even asks me how i put up with her crap for all these years and now that looking at divorce he says its about time i get away from her. my wife was not invited to his wedding she would have gone anyway since he did not marry a asian like she wanted him to. also wife has only seen pictures of our 1 granddaughter. my wife now wants to try and fix things and told her its past that time and place. she is really concerned that now she will not be able to send 90% of her paychecks to her home country to take care of her family. early in our marriage i would help and send some money to her family but it was never enough so told her back then to get a job and could send as much as she liked. think that really is when things started going south in our marriage. none of her family live in the us and if she cut them off they would be in dire straights. but do not see how that is truly my problem. my daughter asked me if i had another women is that why was divorcing her mother. i said no and do not think will marry ever again just too much pain and suffering. daughter says i am being cruel then and should think of all the years and since no one else just stay married. wife has even said that if can not work things out then at least stay married so we do not have to sell house and will live kind of like roomates in a sense. except i would still be paying for everything she says i could date if wanted to that she would not interfere just long as did not divorce. shoot we have been living bascialy like roommates for the last couple years at least having sex maybe 4 or 5 times a year. on special occasions and its more like a oh its about that time again for sex when we do have it.

I usually advise couples to do all they can to make a marriage work, but in your situation it appears as if your wife's main concern is about finances, even saying you can date as long as there is no divorce. This leads me to think she is not being sincere when saying she is now willing to work on things. Still, at the face of doing the right thing, why not give it another shot at counseling. Maybe if during this time she can truly hear how much pain this marriage has caused you she will then see how much she needs to change. If after doing this and things still do not improve over time, then of course the reasonable thing to do would be to divorce her. For now it seems her only reason to hold on to you is to be able to continue with you helping her out financially and that is no reason to stay married. Good luck to you!

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Hi people i know what i'm asking is one of the most gambled financial questions many of us have to make a decision upon and ultimately only i can make the decision as there is no real fast or easy answer, but i am interested in your view and reason behind it. so if you have the time to give me your view it would be greatly received. i have held a mortgage with the halifax since 2002 and just finished my third mortgage product with them, a fantastic tracker at 0.69% above b.o.e base rate. i have reverted to the halifax svr of 3.5%. my payments have more than doubled, yet are still lower than they were 3 years ago when i was on a fixed product of 4.89%. i just don't know which way to go now, my choices are- 1) 2 year tracker +2.69% (so 3.19% at current rate) 2) 2 year fixed at 3.89% £999 start up fee 3) 3 year fixed at 4.79 no fee 4) 5 year fixed at 5.89% no fee or- 5) stay on the svr 3.49% as much as the svr seems appealing now, is that a short term gain given the economic climate? there seems to be much speculation as to what will happen with the bank of england base rate. i am no economist but the way i see it is, yes they may have to rise the base rate 1/2 a point, then perhaps two more half points to end up at 2% in the next two years. but they must do so with caution as no one seems to be buying much at present and if they increase too much then we'll have a static housing market. this is an educated presumption as i am currently trying to sell another property in nottingham for 90k, with not as much as a sniff of interest. the 4 bedroom, victorian house is very pleasant and priced fairly, the problem is no first time buyers seem to be able to afford the deposit and no investors want it either. would interest rates rise firther stagnate the market? having done some calculations, the tracker offered for 2 years would allow the rates to jump up by a point and remain cheaper, but if they move up further then the 3 year fixed appears the best option. i have not thought or looked at predicting the economy in 3 years time, this is beyond my knowledge or ability to site trends. so i hand the question over to you............

You have mentioned the mortgage fee in your list, but are you taking other fees into account. You will probably have to pay legal fees and a valuation fee, which may come to £500 or more. So you have to take this into account when considering the "savings". Mortgage rates are based on the rates banks can get when borrowing from each other. These are based on the Bank of England (BOE) rate, but will vary depending on the length of time you are borrowing for. This is because the rate reflects what the lender thinks BOE rates will do over that time period. So the mortgage rate you are offered is basically the inter-bank rate for that period, plus a profit margin. This margin depends mainly on how risky you are - the higher the risk the higher the margin. Your tracker rate gives a guide as the the kind of margin you are being offered - eg 2.69% above the baseline. I think this is about as low as it gets at the moment. My understanding (from news reports etc) is that banks have set their 3 and 5 year inter- rates based on an assumption that BOE rates are going to rise by 2 or 3% in the next couple of years. If this understanding is correct then fixed mortgage rates should not go up (straight away) if BOE rates start to rise, because they have already factored this in. But if it turns out BOE rates stay lower for longer the banks might actually drop their fixed rates in the coming months. Either way, you are better off staying on your SVR and jumping on to the fixed rate only when BOE rates start to rise, or when fixed rates drop a bit. Historically a banks SVR was their worst rate. But they got so much bad publicity a few years ago, that the SVR is currently not that bad compared to their other rates. I suspect that as the economy recovers the SVR will start to look bad as offers and competition comes back into the market. But for the time being the SVR is often just as good as the other rates you can get, and has the advantage that you don't need to remortgage and pay all the associated costs to get it. In general you don't necessarily save much, if anything, by jumping from one fixed rate deal to another. The banks want to make their money, so the average rate over the 25 years of your mortgage, is likely to be similar to the rate you would have got by staying on an SVR or a lifetime tracker. If you take into account the fees for continuously re-mortgaging you might end up paying more for regularly switching. The only benefit of fixed rates is that you know what you will be paying for the next 3 or 5 years , which some people prefer to the volatility of payments that could change each month. If you have the guts to stick it out for a bit you might find that long term trackers start to look like the best bet. I doubt you'll ever get as good a deal as you could have got before the credit crunch (I'm on a lifetime tracker 0.44% above base rate), but I'd like to think you'll get something better than 2.69% above BOE base rate.

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Hi, we are living in uk for more than 5 yrs and now we're permanent residants in uk and a little daughter who is 5 and half years old. we bought a house in uk a year and half ago on "jointly owned". now my wife left me without informing and taken away all stuff from our house except my clothes & a bed. total value of the house is £250k out of which we had taken 200k from the bank and £50k as a personal loan from one of my friend. bank mortgage is on joint name but 50k personal is just between me & my friend but everything is black & white through emails etc.. now my questions are: 1. my wife is telling she is not bothered about my personal amount though i put that money to buy the house and asking me to sell the house and split the profits between us. if so, can i challenge that i can include this 50k between us as it was taken to buy the property? if we incur loss after selling the house, would that loss will be split between us or it will be only profits? right from the beginning i've only been paying the mortgage and all other monthly expenses and she did not contribute anything though she has been working since 2 and half years. 2. we also bought a house in hyderabad, india where i've been paying emis everymonth. how this is going to be handled in terms of her rights. can i challenge that she has not paid single pence to buy any house though she has been working. 3. about my child, she has left the house along with out daughter and not making me to contact her though i requested couple of times. now she told that she spoke to a solicitor and made divource petition in line with above said property issue & child contact where i need to go and see my daughter at contact centre for an hour or so once in a week or month because she says she has a threat from my family in india and me. here my question is, can i challenge this petition that i want join custody for my daughter because i am afraid that she might take my daughter away from the country or anywhere to totally stop relation with my daughter. 4. when i get divorce petition from my wife's solicitor, if i dont respond what happens? i would appreciate your valuable advice on this. thanks a lot in advance, vikas

you can request joint commission, you have to sel the house, unless she has filed for a restraining order, what she is doing with your child is criminal behavior and you could go to the police. If you dont respond, you could loose complete contact with your child or suffer some other fiscal consequences

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Tell me if this sounds right to you. keep in mind this is a home sale between two family members. i did this research through public records. i need to know if this seems like a legit transaction or if there a way to inflate the sale price of a home without actually buying it at that price. for lack of a better term is there something like a price increase / payback scheme in effect? how common is this practice and please don't respond with increased market value because i smell something fishy? for example. lets say in 2001 a guy buys an investment property for $80,000. 1500 sq feet...three bedrooms, full bath kitchen, living room, dining room (converted carport). then 5 (2006) years later he sells it to his brother for $135,000. it's been confirmed they're brothers. does this even make sense? i mean...what happened to the $1 transaction between family? now it's on the market for 140,000 and buyer is eager to make a deal due to deportation issues...not that that has anything to do with my question. just curious and hope to get some good feedback from an experienced real estate agent... thanks. i'm curious as to why a someone would want to make $55,000 profit off of their brother (family). wondering if there is a way to inflate the sale of a house without the buyer actually paying the $135,000 amount? it scared me away from the house...

So to sum it up, a person buys a house for $80k in 2001 and sells it to someone else in 2006 for $135k? Depending on the area, this may have been a normal amount of appreciation in a 5 year period, especially that specific time frame when house prices were sky rocketing. In addition, the first owner may have made significant improvements to the property, also increasing the value. Whether or not the buyer was his brother is irrelevant - it was probably a legitimate business deal for both of them. And what are you even talking about "the $1 transaction between family". What is the issue here?

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In order to get my ex-wife off of my existing mortgage, i need to either refinance or sell my house. i'm currently at a 6.5% rate and at the moment rates are a bit higher than that for a 30 year term and right about there for a 15 year term (even with my excellent credit score). i really hate to refinance at a higher rate, so i'm wondering if any of you have any insight as to what might happen to rates in the coming weeks (i know it's a crap shoot). at the moment they're the highest that they've been in quite a while. should i wait a couple of weeks?

Rather than the macro-economic view above, here is something a little more direct. Mortgage rates are based directly on corresponding US treasury bonds. People who trade bonds are called ghouls, because when you buy a bond you are effectively betting that that present money will be more valuable than future money. When the economy looks bad, bonds do great. The opposite is also true- rates spiked in the face of superb economic news like the smaller trade deficit, steady inflation, unemployment etc. Loan rates are in fact at a 14 month high. There may also be other details in your overall scenario which are preventing you from the best rate. (Friday's sheet said that 6.5 for the 30 year and 6.125 for the 15 was the rate floor) Lately adjustable rates and long term fixed rate loans have been near equal due to an "inverted treasury yield curve". (google this for in depth exp.) This recent spike has corrected this, meaning 3/1, 5/1 ARM is again at a discount versus 30 year fixed. Whats the net of all this? IMO, bond traders are having somewhat of a kneejerk reaction to the Federal Reserve behavior. Rates I think will indeed ease, but not by more than .125-.25% over the next month. They could easily not change or go worse if the economy continues to do well.

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I have been in and out of depression since my teens..i don't really speak to my family about anything, as a child i was one of seven children and told that i had special needs because i kept running away from my home at a young age, was always hyperactive and one social report said i had "no sense of danger" i was thrown into a lot of care homes and boarding schools, on top of being in special schools. i was always a bright child and though most of my life i was always good and top of the classes, when i was 14 i was set to do my gcse's in a special school because they believed me to have that potential.but half way though that year i moved to cardiff and didn't attend school for a year because my mother appealed for me not to go to this one school because it was like a last resort and most students ended up going to prison afterwords and i was no criminal.... so i got sent to another school but when i got their my chances of getting a normal education failed because this school wouldn't allow me to do these exams and i had to do a dumbed down version... what really put the salt in my wounds was the teachers at this school said to me that there was nothing wrong with me and that i should have attended a normal secondary school but because i was 15 there wouldn't be any chance of that for me. i was born with double jointed fingers, which means i would always have an abnormality to be seen, growing up was often called a freak and the look on peoples faces when i showed them. at 14 i contracted psoriasis, which makes my skin very scabby in areas of my body, mainly my joints and to this day i have always felt less of a person to my peers. it feels like i always have to explain myself to people so that they wont freak but also so that they can understand what i go through. also i was physically abused by my step father from ages 5 to 8 but that stopped once the social workers saw massive bruises on me and asked me where i got them from, even though he never hit me again, his voice and spiteful attitude remained and i was always afraid of him even in my 20's. in 2005 i was assistant manager of a store, had a girlfriend that i really loved and was at the top of the world in my life, my sleeping habits are somewhat weird as sometimes i just can't seem to sleep at night but this resulted in me being late for work and as a key holder it wasn't good and they got rid of me after 2 and a half years of service there. couple of months later i lost the girlfriend,,, she told me i was "holding her back" and since then i have not had any real long term relationships. also that year my mother had to sell the house from a divorce with my step father and she couldn't afford to buy it on her own. so jobless, girl-friendless, and homeless in one year.. i was suffering so much that all i could do was hide from the world so for the whole of 2006 i was unemployed... my hygiene slipped because i thought what was the point. nothing made any sense to me. my step father died that year and even though i remember a lot of bad things, i remember some good and often feel really confused about how i should have felt about it all.. i didn't attend the funeral and in respect no one even told me. 2007 was ok, but my depression got me back into the same shit over and over again... im seeing everyone progress in life while im still suffering from everything that has happened in the past... my memory is so good that i can recall most of everything, i can't talk to my family because i was such a problem child that i hurt them a lot growing up and i remember making them cry and being an evil child but i was just that a child. now 2008, im on the verge of being homeless again, i don't want to go anywhere or do anything... inside i suffer the pain of my lifetime and have no way to release it, when extra problems come up with people i tend to snap or shy away... to the point of avoiding problems.. i just want to get back on top and be that person who had something going for him, really want to show strength but all i am is weak. i have never had any support... my mother stopped being my mother at 16 and by then i was told to fend for myself. i have thought about suicide a lot through the years and the only reason why i haven't is because i was too much of a coward to end it but more and more that option is becoming a reality... it's to the point where i think i will only suffer physical pain for a couple of minutes and then i can be released. what should i do, who can help me?

wow! that is a lot to take in. you have experienced what seems like an extremely fragile life, but also a great life. you have experienced A LOT of downs and i believe that it can only go up from there. all these scenarios/situations should make you a strong person inside. you can get through this, i believe you can. one thing that has come to mind... could you try volunteer work? at an orphanage, red cross, smith family, st johns ambulance, etc. it may be possible to get a place to live in return for your services, plus you can share your experiences with others in your shoes... it will make you feel better about yourself and life. i know that this isnt much, but i wish you well. i hope you can get through this difficult time, and find yourself again. love, sarah

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"politically that will be a tough sell. yahoo! news spoke with rep. paul ryan (r-wis.), the incoming head of the house budget committee. a top aide to the new speaker of the house, rep. john boehner, ryan will be a key player in crafting the budget and negotiating spending and tax decisions when republicans take control of the house in january — and he's not convinced such a tax is needed. "i do not like the idea, because it skirts the real problem, which is spending," says ryan. "i am not interested in chasing ever higher spending with ever higher revenue."" facts: end of clinton term ---------------------------- * higher income taxes * $ 5 trillion us debt * clinton increased the debt by $1.5 trillion in 8 years. * $200 bil ( excluding ssi trust fund) in surplus last year in office. bush's term: * lowered taxes right away on everyone but most of the poor( $6000 to $28000 earners received no tax cut, they were int he 15% bracket before and after the tax cuts) * two wars that ran a majority of his term. * deficit increased to

Why so many liberals are so dense. Although, there has been soem breakthrough in this area...with the assosciation of the DRD4 gene. edit. My husband is an electrician...so I guess that makes me fully qualified to start wiring up soem buildings? LMAO

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My life, from as long as i can remeber has been f#cked. when i was young (around 6) my mother and father always argued, they were never happy and never together. my mother was very heartless to me and she often ridiculed me. she would alway make fun of my height (which i felt so bad about already, i was teased at pre-school for it; evil f*cks) and the fact that i still wet the bed at that age. i remeber asking her for a bluetooth phone because all my 'friends' had one but she turned around saying: "do all your friends wear nappies" i felt absolutely hurt, in fact the pain fails to subside til this very moment. she would always blame my father for evertything that happened to her and she never seemed to pay enough attention to me. i remeber all my friends telling stories about how much they enjoyed bed-time stories but my mum never did any of that stuff, she barely held me. i have had physical fights with her and puched her in her stomach at least twice (with a certain satisfaction i might add) but she never took me seriously and instead would laugh or ignore me. she was violent to me. i can remeber a time when she picked up my younger siblings barbie train and smashed it on my back, it didn't hurt as much as you'd think (probably because of the shock of being abused by your own mother), there was also a time when she threw a remote at me. she was watching some sort of porn fetish/domination/bdsm in front of me and i told her to take it off, what i saw was scaring and although i can only remember a leashed man licking a toilet clean, it makes my soul sting everytime i think about it. i protested and told her to take it off, i even started name calling her and claimed i wanted to watch teletubbies but it was all in vein... so i switched off the tv and then she bursted out in rage and thre the remote. it landed inches from my head and smashed into the wall behind me. then one fateful day after an argument in the morning that lingured on from the day before. my sibling told mummy exactly what we all though of her and she replied by cursing her. she was so upset she spent the whold day crying in school, she was unconsolable. that's when the social services stepped in. the trials were long and in the end mum and dad ended up getting a divorce. meanwhile the social services were persuading me and my sibling to give our mother leeway (in terms of visiting days and fault) to which they partly succeded (damn bastards). now the house which my father bought is to be sold and shared between the two of them (that f*cking imigrant never even put a penny towards the property infact when my dad begged her to help out she flat out denied). this has put my dad under a lot of stress. the court decided that she could freeload for a month while the bitch got her new house together. (the 'maritual home' -and yeah i laughed hard at that one- os to be sold when both children finish uni) when mother moves out things get hard. period. we went to visit her on the weekends (left on friday - went to dad on monday). it was wierd skipping back and forth from house to house. but i got used to it. about a year later, my mother decides to do a night duty on the weekend (which she promised the court not to do - like that psychopath would f*cking care) and she leaves us in the hands of my dads enemy (this woman told him that he was not as old as her father and he died and that he should also die - imagine that, talk about rude! bitch!) so naturally we didn't agree and so we all fell out and now i don't see her any more (its been 5 years since - roughly anyway). since then my father has been getting older and less capable of doing things like he did before. now i have to cook, clean and shop for my family of 3 (if you think i would still count her as family after all of this then you are slow - period). the stress really got to me. this has been going on for a while. it recently got tougher when he was sent to hospital, since then he's gotten really weak really fast. i have never been allowed to friends houses, never. he always thinks i'll get up to bad things so i haven't had much of a socila life outside of school. this hurts me. everytime i'm invited, i can't go. i am infamous for not being allowed to go out anywhere. not cool, though people are really supportive. he won't let me do any form of martial arts or boxing because i have sickled cells (the trait - obtained from my blessed mother) and he believes that i will get hurt really badly (even though im tough as nails and all my friends know it). he tells me about his dreams for me to join the olympics but he won't let me train (like im supposed to become number one by simply wishing i could - prick). i took most of my school years too easy and left all my coursework with the crazy idea that i would be able to do it all in the last few months - a mistake i am paying dealy for. i have ab i am 16 years old guys and you're right i should be more easy on my father because he is suffering too. i lose my temper with him very quickly and with everyone else for that matter. i can't join any clubs because i can't go anywhere - i can't leave my dad alone. i can't go to friends for the same reason. my depression seems to be getting worse, but i felt better after asking this long question. i'm losing myself. my primary school life was not as bad as it may seem but nevertheless i was always teased about my height.

You're very young. You've been through alot. I've seen much worse. In time your views of what happened will change. Divorce is hard on everyone. You're focusing your anger on your mom, but you will see things differently some day. Let your sibling be with your dad, and go to school events. Have a friend over night once in a while. Get into counseling with your school counselor and keep talking about your thoughts and feelings. Keep a journal to help get the pain out.